Mikayla Nogueira is getting very real about being a beauty influencer.
The 25-year-old TikTok star, who has nearly 15 million followers on the platform, spoke out in a series of updates about her mental and physical health following her wedding last month.
During the update, Mikayla got real about how she’s been feeling, including the pressure she’s felt by having a team since starting her makeup career in 2020.
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“When I began this career in 2020, I felt I could be so myself and open…the pressure just exploded in my face,” she explained.
“With that growth has come more people in my ear, telling me what I can do and can’t do, should do and shouldn’t do, can say and can’t say, and it’s just like…shut up!” Mikayla exclaimed.
“The pressure to be pretty, the pressure to be perfect…I f–king hate how I look now. I didn’t feel that way whenever I began this career, but now I f–king hate myself,” she candidly told viewers, “which is so sh–ty, dude.”
“That’s why I edit my photos so much. And that’s obvious. I don’t even want to post on Instagram anymore because I can’t even lookat myself in the mirror, let alone a camera. I can’t express to you how mentally terrifying this career can be to someone like me,” she went on.
“It’s my problem comparing myself to all the other beauty influencers. I cannot be doing that. Obviously.”
She went on to discuss her journey since her wedding, and her lack of taking care of herself in recent months.
“I’m neglecting my family, partner, my friends…and I felt like my soul literally left my body. I’m like ‘Where’s Mikayla?’ She’s not here right now. I felt really lost,” she said.
She went on to explain her struggle with perfectionism, and that during her honeymoon, she retreated from being an influencer, and it’s brought her back down to Earth.
“I’m not going to worry about what I say – well, I am, but less…I just want to do what I love everyday, and I want to do it with you,” she said. She added that she’s started getting out of the house more, resetting and feeling her old self creeping back.
“I feel such a sense of peace that I can finally just say all this s–t and get it off my mind.”
Mikayla went on to explain that her goals for the rest of the year are to work on her self-esteem (“because it doesn’t exist”), as well as speaking up for herself, and continuing to enjoy her hobbies, life and her new marriage.
Check out who attended her Internet celeb-filled wedding in July.
Watch her explain…